Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Some Random Nonsense

I feel like I'm bursting with a message that the world may finally be ready for. But I don't know what it is. Perhaps the citizens of earth desperately need to know exactly how it is that I make plastic mobiles that so eerily capture the struggle between good and evil than characterizes what it is to belong to the race of man. Perhaps I absolutely must share the details of my intense daily dental routine. But really, what you want to know (or not, most likely not), is how I obtained my subhuman powers.

One fine summer day, sky bright and thunder rolling while rain sleeted down and a dry wind rushed across the dusty plains as I hiked through the desolate rainforest fighting through rapacious crowds all the while, I witnessed a nuclear eruption as boiling acid was thrown into my eyes and I landed my spaceship from an alien world while being bitten by a radioactive vampire.

Prior to discovering my powers I was a social outcast, since I was captain of the high school football team and also the unquestioned leader of a gang of reclusive nerds.

My best friend, a man I had never met destined to become my archenemy, as had been written in the stars since he was born to my parents (being my twin brother and all), trapped me in a chamber made of rocks from my homeworld and hung me from the ceiling by silver chains so that I wouldn't be able to turn into a wolf, or draw incredible strength from the earth.

I learned to assume a false identity, using a cunning disguise of wearing my watch on a different hand and wearing colored contacts, so that I would be able to blend into society, and my secret girlfriend who didn't know we were dating wouldn't be harmed by giant space ninjas.

And now you know my secret superhero origin that I've just made up. Vote below for more installments. Or suggest something else, Hollywood's out of ideas, and so am I.

FYI - don't expect a post for probably 3 weeks or so, I'm going to be traveling the world in search of the holy grail.


Blogger Sue Fisk said...

Reminds me of a little poem we used to recite as children...
One bright day, in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
The old, deaf policeman heard the noise
Came & shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe my story's true,
Ask the blind man- he saw it too.
Good to hear from you again!!!

August 10, 2006 at 9:32 PM  

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