Friday, October 08, 2004

Got Nothin, So I'll Just Ramble a Bit

I think penguins probably can fly, they're just lazy.

How to Make a Hamburger:
Step 1: Find cow.
Step 2: Eat.

Note: Women are allowed a Step 1.5 involving a flamethrower.

I watched some Iron Chef the other night where the secret ingredient was eggs. One of the eggs available was an ostrich egg. Some crazy Japanese guy used a hacksaw to cut open the egg, and it took a long time and looked quite difficult. The lesson here, I think, is don't mess with baby ostriches, because anything that can break out of an egg that requires a hacksaw for a full grown human to open is probably pretty badass.

Will I ever achieve my dream of eating bacon from a 5th degree bacon fed pig?

I've never had caviar. Is it really better than a delicious bacon cheeseburger? If not, why bother eating it when there's no shortage in this country of bacon cheesburgers? I have had frog's legs. They weren't disgusting, they just weren't anything special either. Weird ass gourmet fools.

I'd like to start a motion that we change the sky's color. I say blue's had its turn and then some. What about a nice metallic gold color? That was everybody's favorite crayon back in the day.

Fire is cool.

How many kids have ever actually injured themselves while running with scissors? For that matter, has anyone ever actually experienced a cramp when swimming after eating? Continuing in the same vein, are there really starving children in Ethiopia? I've never been there, for all I know, they're the most well fed children this side of McDonald's.


Blogger Andrey said...

i want a story involving lesbian mutant catfish.

October 9, 2004 at 5:18 PM  

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